Operator, I Think There's Something Wrong with My Kalosian Studmuffin
by Nate-kun
Summary: "How come you never told me you could speak French?" "Well uh, you never ask, for one." -Kalosshipping, fluff, bite me.


**Two for two in the span of a few mere days. Isn't that divine? I'm not even sure if the phrase "burn out" even exists in my mind. I have to be honest, there are so many ideas on my mind when to comes to these two, I could write until the end of time and I'd still not be halfway near completion. Who knows, I'll probably write a story where they end up baking cookies together by the end of the week.**

**Fuck. Is that a challenge? Think it is.**

**Listen up chaps, if you want more from the horse's mouth, you've gotta let the horse know. See, the writing industry is like a caterpillar-you can pretend I'm the head, and you're the legs, the head can't move if the legs don't tell it where to go. As is to say-that simile is in regards to review, so, review if you want more from me, even a favorite would suffice, it lets me know that you're reading-you may like it, you may hate it, but human instinct tells me you probably crave more either way. Thank you in advance for your courtesy.**

**Word Count: 1280 words.**

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Operator, I Think There's Something Wrong with My Kalosian Studmuffin

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"Hey, can you speak French?"

Calem looks up from his finely detailed handiwork, a bit perplexed at the sudden question, it was all but silent as holy hell mere minutes ago. He cocks his head in puzzlement, "Eh?"

"French, _dumbass_. Do you speak it?"

The boy shifts his eyes to the left and to the right, as if scouting the area for a close exit for a swift escape. But with none in sight, he simply looks down at his golden honey muse.

There's some hesitation. Serena isn't blind, she can sense it on the tip of his quirky little tongue.

Calem grabs a lock and twiddles it in his fingers, any attempt to dodge the subject would quickly become noticed.

"What brought that up?"

"Curiosity."

"That all?"

"Answer me."

He sighs and takes a quick pause, "...I dabble in that area, I guess. Yeah-"

"How come you never told me that?"

"Well uh, you never asked so I thought-"

Serena turns around, her hair slips from his fingers, the girl places her hands on his knees and moves a bit too close to his face for comfort. Her expression is one of suspicion, and in a rare occurrence of role reversal, the boy is at a loss and lacking in the control department.

She lets out a huff, her eyes squint, "Why don't you speak it then?"

A trickle of sweat rides down his cheek, "W-We should uh, **_really _**g-get back to braiding your hair, _I mean_-"

"Nice try."

A certain tingle surges through his spine. It's not one of elation, but one of fright. From personal experience, Calem knows that Serena is relatively easy to endure, that is, until she turns the table. In which case, there is no stopping the derailment of his own manhood.

Summed up, they both have their ups and downs.

"Wh-What I meant to say, uh, exactly-it's gonna get l-late soon so it would probably be best if-"

"You're horrible at dodging questions."

Serena prods his chest with her finger, multiple times. Her nails poke, dig into that pale skin, and yearn for him to squeal already. Castration is looking wonderful right about now.

"Come on," she says bluntly, "quit being a baby. It's just a simple question, you're acting like it's the end of the world, get over it."

"W-Why do you even care so much?"

"Already said. Curiosity."

Calem grabs her wrist and manages to get her to stop poking him repeatedly, it was riding his ass for much too long to be considered a joy, "Well, uh, it's really something I'm not fond of talking about.-"

"Just one damn phrase, that's all you have to say!"

"I'd rather not."

That's more than enough to push the girl beyond the edge of the limit. With a tsk, she smacks Calem upside his head, earning a yelp and a view of him comically falling off of the bed.

"**_Gyah!_**"

Rubbing his head, Calem lets out a groan and looks up. Serena is peering over the edge, looking down at him with a scowl. What comes next out of her mouth only furthers his pondering of her curiosity and sudden atypical questioning.

"_Is there someone else?_"

"W-Wha? What do you-**_What!_** N-No, no way! No way! I only have specs for you!"

Serena clenches her fists, then crosses her arms and looks away from him, "I've seen castrated Lillipups who could lie better than you. So, is that how you play? You'll speak French for _other _girls, but not for me?"

Calem manages to recover from the fall, he climbs back up on the bed and faces her, "Why are we even doing this? Why is this such an issue to you all of a sudden?"

"Calm down, retard. It's called a joke. Lighten up. Now hurry up and say something so you can get back to working those chapped fingers of yours."

"F-Funny, see now, I _would do that, _especially considering the fact that I'll do _almost _anything for you.-But uh, here's the kicker, this is one of those things that I _won't _do, so I'm afraid you're out of l-**_Gyah!_**"

Serena grabs his collar and with a brisk tug, yanks his face mere centimeters away from her own, "Ugh. Figures. The one time I let you sweet talk me and you're too much of a pussy to do it."

Calem holds up his hands in self-defense, his voice starts to break, "I-It's not like that! I mean-I _would, _but uh," he stops short of answering, speechless at how to approach the subject. He looks away from her, a hand reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, "I'm...not as **_perfect _**at it as you may assume at it, it's k-kinda why I don't speak it. In fact, you could even say that I'm kinda..."

She tugs with a hint of impatience, "Kinda like what?"

"T-Terrible...?"

"Terrible?"

"I-I erm...have enunciation problems. Every time I talk like that it comes out awkward. O-Okay?"

Serena's initial face is a mixed one of indifference and speechlessness, but then it suddenly molts into a smile and afterwards, mocking laughter.

"Hey, it's not funny!"

She doesn't stop snickering.

Once she gets over herself, Serena flicks his face, "It really is. How stupid do you have to be that you can't even speak your own damn language? Who taught you? Your mom?"

"Actually, yes, she did-"

"Well she did a pretty horrible job!"

"**_I know, she's the worst tutor ever!_**...Don't let her know I said that."

Serena pinches the bridge of her nose and lies down, a sigh escapes from her luscious lips, "So, what? Because you suck so much at it that means that I don't get to hear it?"

"Not really in the mood to embarrass myself, thanks."

Peeved, she lets out another huff and mumbles something. This something comes off as odd, a tad incriminating, interesting coming from her. Calem cocks an eyebrow, and ponders whether or not the tables can be flipped once again.

He lies down with her and gives her an instigating look, "I'm sorry, _what was that?_"

"Nothing. You were just imagining things."

"No, no, no, I'm pretty sure I heard what I think I just heard. Say it again so I can confirm it for myself, come on."

"I-I said nothing! Calm down, asswipe!"

"Speak up, _I can't hear you._"

Serena quickly turns away from him, refusing to let Calem get the last laugh by getting a nice gawk at her red face, "_Ugh, _stop being so-...fine! I...I was just saying..."

"You were just saying..."

"**_Don't rush me!_**" she yells, but as quick as her temper rises, it swiftly dies down, "I was just saying...that I thought it would be _c-cute, _you know, if you spoke to me like that and-**_stop looking at me like that!_**"

"Oh, so **_that's _** what this is all about then, huh? Well in that case, I think I can make an exception, this one time."

Serena protests in regards to what his intentions are, but she clams up the second he grabs her chin. Gingerly, he tilts her head up in order to face her and proceeds to whisper sweet nothings to her.

"_Je t'aime, Serena, je t'aime._"

A pause follows, Serena finds herself briefly touched, but those fleeting moments die out the second a few glaringly obvious flaws settle in.

"Ugh. You're right, your enunciation is shit. We need to work on that."

"Told you."

"Yeah, but let's do that later. Get back to braiding my hair."

"Uh, alright-Wait, hold up a minute."

"What now, retard?"

"_Why am I even braiding your hair in the first place?_"


End file.
